Mars vs. Venus (or) Writing from a Woman’s Perspective

When I write a Pride and Prejudice sequel/adaptation, I do so from Darcy’s point of view, rather than from Elizabeth’s. When I speak of Austen’s Persuasion, I speak of Wentworth’s thoughts. When I am writing of the Realm, I do so as a member of this British covert unit. So, what does this mean in terms of how I approach a tale? It means that I must know something about the differences in how a male and a female views the world. For example, a woman would say, “I bought an indiglo-colored gown with a cornsilk netting.” However, a man might respond, “She bought a blue dress with some sort of beige-colored scratchy material attached.” With this in mind, let us take a look at some of the basis differences, which affect the plot line.

  • Women are better at judging a person’s character. A man excels in judging cause and effect.
  • Women seek acceptance; men seek respect.
  • Women see “romance” as the building of tension (eye contact, whispered words, gentle caresses, etc.). For men, desire equals instant gratification.
  • Women lie to make someone feel better. Men tell lies as a cover up, as a way to build their own egos, or as a means to expedite an issue.
  • Women prefer an emotional bonding (talk about it). Men hate to jump through a woman’s “hoops” just to get what he wants.
  • Women are more likely to conform to the group/situation’s rules regarding sex. Men will seek sex even if the group has outlawed it.
  • When women dine out, they carefully divide the check for what each owes. Men will often compete to pay the whole bill, or they will throw money on the table to cover the tab.
  • Women are competitive about the degree of attractiveness among their acquaintances. They are also competitive about morals and about domestic abilities. Men are highly competitive about job, social/professional status, and income.
  • Women can speak and listen at the same time. Men have no idea how to accomplish this.
  • Women will use words such as “Always” and “Never” when they argue. This allows a man to prove the woman’s points have no basis.
  • Women choose blank greeting cards. Men choose ones already loaded with words so they do not have to write anything beyond their names.
  • Women have a better recall of the spoken word than do men.
  • Women are more than likely to show their teeth when they smile.
  • Women leave a relationship because they are emotionally unfulfilled. A man feels he has failed if “his woman” is unhappy.
  • Women ask questions. Men make statements.
  • Women use words such as “could,” “would,” and “shall.” Men prefer the word “will.”
  • Women nod their heads to show they are listening. Men take that as agreement to their ideas. Little do they know, an argument will ensue later.
  • When a man seeks a mistress, he wants only the “status” of doing so. Often, he has no desire to leave his wife. A woman gives a man her heart and her body.
  • Men will challenge and interrupt more often than women.
  • Men will speak more bluntly than women. They are also more likely to use risqué language.
  • When speaking with female friends, women are likely to call each other by their given names and discuss intimate details of their lives. In an all-male gathering, men discuss life in general (no specifics), make crude jokes, and are likely to call each other by some derogatory nickname.
  • Women not on hormone replacement or the Pill find more masculine features attractive (the cave man effect). Women on the Pill, etc., find “softer” male faces more attractive.
  • Women need a “connection” to allow themselves to be vulnerable. For men, sex is the connection of choice. They use sex to display their vulnerable side.
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